I’m not big on new year’s resolutions. I’d rather not wait to make self-improvements. And if I am waiting until an arbitrary date like Jan 1, I probably am not that committed to begin with. But the start of the new year is actually a great time to re-evaluate (or start) your estate planning. The time off in the holidays and the presence of family makes it easier to have the conversations about priorities and plans. So while I’m not an expert at estate planning, I do have a few tips for getting started.
A caveat before I start: I am not a financial advisor, estate planner, or attorney. So take what I say with a grain of salt! That said, I have gone through the process of dealing with estates a few times now, and I have a few tips to share, as a fairly well-informed amateur.
Do some basic research
Estate planning is, alas, not something you can just “wing.” You need to be a fairly informed consumer before starting in earnest. For me, that meant doing some reading on the basics and then diving deeper as I had laid a foundation of knowledge.
Helpful articles to get started
- Understanding the basics of estate planning (Vanguard)
- Five questions you must answer to prepare for the inevitable (Clark Howard)
- Create an estate plan so your kids don’t inherit a headache (Wall Street Journal)
- Estate planning for the uninitiated (Wall Street Journal)
Podcasts to go deeper
- Estate planning trends (Wealth Actually)
- Avoiding shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations (Wealth Actually)
- Do I need a trust? (Estate Planning Insights)
Get on the same page with your partner
There’s so much to cover with a partner on this topic- healthcare preferences, end of life, financial matters. I won’t try to cover it all here- the topics of importance to you may be very different than mine. But for everyone, it’s important to talk. And talk frequently. Luckily Dear Husband and I are on the same page on most things in this area, but if you aren’t, get ready for some compromises. Get all of this done before you bring in someone who’s going to charge you by the hour to mediate the discussion…
Decide if you need to engage experts
The point of doing basic research and discussing things with your partner is to make the process of estate planning more efficient (and cheaper.) If you feel you need to engage an estate attorney, it is much better to have the conversations about your wishes BEFORE he/she starts charging you by the hour 🙂
If you do need to hire an attorney, it seems to me that the best way to do it is to ask your friends for a reference. I guess you could google around, but I’m not super comfortable with that. Also, it seems like buying an “estate planning package” is probably the most cost-efficient way to go. If you’ve got a really complicated situation, that might not work- but it’s worth asking.
If you are convinced that you will be fine with a barebones will, there are free and low cost options available out there. But after all the research I’ve done, I think that applies for a small percentage of estates.
Start bringing in others who will be impacted
Although it’s super exciting to see a mysterious will being read in the movies, I don’t love the idea of our estate planning being a big secret. I’d really rather that there be no surprises for everyone involved. Of course, you might have reasons for not disclosing everything to your nearest and dearest. And apparently my desire for complete transparency is not common. Our attorney was surprised to have Sophie attending our meetings and hearing all the details.
I think there’s enough drama in the world- and we don’t need to contribute to it by springing surprises (pleasant or not) on the people we love the most.
Create a death file (or box or bin)
Now that Dear Husband and I have gone through the process of family members dying a few times, we are well aware of what a pain in the rear it can be. It can take months to unravel all the accounts, let alone find them all. So we have compiled a “Death Bin”- a plastic bin with all the info needed for whoever survives. A good place to start is with is the list in this article– but feel free to branch out (within reason.)
I also hope that all the work that we did to prepare our emergency binder will help the survivor(s). Two birds, one stone!
And after hearing this book mentioned a few times on podcasts, I’m adding it here. It was the perfect stocking stuffer for Dear Husband- LOL!
After the Death of Your Spouse: Next Financial Steps for Surviving Spouses
The topic of passwords inevitably comes up in these discussions- how to provide access to the myriad of accounts that all of us have and likely want to pass on. The common suggestion is a password manager, but after the LastPass breach, I’m reluctant to recommend that. Perhaps things will change in the future. But for now, I am probably going old school, with pen and paper (and a few codes to encourage a bit of Bletchley codebreaking!)
Follow through!
This sounds nuts but a lot of people get 90% through estate planning but don’t finish the job. This includes not moving assets into a trust that has been set-up or never getting documents signed and notarized. Our plan is to set a deadline to get all of this done- and completely finish the job, as painful as it may be.
Finally, keep learning and talking
Hopefully our estate planning will not be needed for years and years. And things may change- who knows? So Dear Husband and I will keep talking and have promised to make updates if needed. And I’ll keep listening to podcasts, to keep my knowledge fresh.
I always heard that estate planning, while taking some time, can relieve a lot of stress. And I think that’s true! I’d rather that our beneficiaries spend the time after our deaths thinking about how great we were 🙂 Rather than cursing us out for leaving them a giant mess!
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