I must admit, my initial plan for this post was something along the lines of “what to do when you have one night in Healdsburg.” I was going to share a hotel recommendation, perhaps review a couple of trendy restaurants, cover a hike. But during my 24 hours in Wine Country, I realized that the topic of memento mori seemed more relevant.
Choosing to refocus this post wasn’t too hard. Sophie and I, along with Cheddar, made the 90 minute drive from Moraga to Santa Rosa so Sophie could take the ACT college admissions test on 9/11. Efficiency and practicality were our primary considerations. So we stayed at an inexpensive (for Wine Country!) hotel and ate at a couple of modest places. We got the job done, but I can’t say I would recommend any of it for a weekend getaway. I’ve got much better options for you elsewhere on the blog!
Memento mori: reminding us of death so we can live
But as I made my way through the 24 hours we spent in Wine Country, I was struck by the idea of memento mori. I’ve written about my interest in stoicism before. The concept of memento mori, which roughly means “remember that you too shall die”, is an important concept in stoicism (and elsewhere.) Recognizing the fragility of human life can help us appreciate the present and being alive right now. And on this brief trip, there were numerous reminders that time is passing and things will end.
The fact that Sophie’s test took place on 9/11 certainly had an impact. The school where she took the test was across the street from a fire station, where a huge American flag hung and firefighters were gathering to remember the fallen. It was hard to escape the memories of that day, or the stories of near-misses or the opposite. Lives cut short. People who had no reason not to think that they would be sleeping soundly in their beds the night of 9/11 and yet…
And certainly watching Sophie grow and up prepare for life after high school has been a stark reminder of the shortness of life. I remember my high school days so clearly; I remember Sophie being born. Every day with her is a gift. Taking the ACT was one step closer to the day that she will leave us, to start her (semi!) adult life. Of course, she’ll come home for visits once she leaves for college, but it will never be quite the same. So I am making a concerted effort to enjoy every moment with her. She is becoming such a wonderful young woman; I can’t wait to see what she does next. Even though I will miss her dreadfully.
Memento mori is everywhere
And if I weren’t feeling memento mori quite enough, the hike I did with Cheddar really brought it home. I found a dog-friendly hike near the school test site in Windsor, Foothill Regional Park, and Cheddar and I hit the trails for almost two hours. It was a a gorgeous almost-autumn day. And for those of us who have lived in California a while- you know what I am talking about. The light is different in Fall vs. Summer. It’s still intense and hot, but it’s softer around the edges. The landscape is crispy dry, the sky is clear as a bell. California at its finest.
Autumn exists
To remind us
That things
Must end
To begin
Again.
Ishaan Gupta
Summer will end, Fall and Winter will begin. Hopefully we’ll get some rain along the way. As I hiked the trails of the park, I saw several memorials to people who had enjoyed the trails. Indeed this park was so important to them that their families chose to put up formal and informal tributes to them.
Even spending time with my sweet pup Cheddar made me think of the shortness of time. He won’t be with us forever, but I am so grateful for every moment, every hike that I take with him.
The point of memento mori is not to bum us all out. It’s to remind us to live! To enjoy every moment. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Life is not a dress rehearsal. All those trite sayings. Because it will all come to an end one day, for all of us.
So get out there and enjoy yourself, your friends and family. Your dogs and cats! Be kind. Calm down. Slow down. Keep learning. Lead a life of service. At the end of the day, perhaps that’s all any of us can ask for.
