What I’ve learned from my wonderful sister Kate

Kate and I don’t overlap too much on this blog; she is living her life in Santa Barbara, I’m living mine in the Bay Area. But this blog is, after all, called Two California Sisters. My wonderful sister and our relationship have been the inspirations for this blog. So I thought I would share some of the things I love and have learned from my sister.

Some of the readers of this blog may know my sister Kate. You can check out my introductory post here for a bit more background. Kate is 14 months younger than me and lives in Santa Barbara with her husband Steve and their two doggies, Lolly and Zoe. And if you don’t know her, you will want to after you hear about what I’ve learned from my sister.

Be more resilient

Kate doesn’t let much get her down. Like all of us, she has some tough days and some rough moments. But she usually shakes it off a lot faster than me. She doesn’t fret and ruminate- at least not publicly.

Although she hasn’t studied Stoicism to my knowledge, she is practically the embodiment of one of my favorite quotes:

“How does it help…to make troubles heavier by bemoaning them?”

Seneca

Kate refuses to let me stew and tells it like it is. And she helps me bounce back when I’ve suffered a setback. Upward and onward!

Be a good friend

This is where Kate reminds me the most of our mother; she is an excellent friend. She goes to the (fill in the blank), remembers the (fill in the blank), sends a surprise present because of (fill in the blank). A couple of times a year, I get a random bouquet of flowers from Kate. Why? She was thinking about me, or I said something- and she wanted me to feel better or feel special. I love that about her.

And another thing about Kate- while she is a good friend to many, she demands her friends to be good to her right back. Which I think is excellent! No doormat Kate! Having high friendship standards for yourself and your friends seems to result in very strong, long-lasting bonds. Something we can all learn from.

Be balanced. Be happier!

Kate loves her work and devotes herself to it, but she’s not afraid to take time off and enjoy herself. She is very self-aware and recognizes when she is out of balance- too much work, food, not enough yoga, sleep. And she makes the changes to ensure that she stays in balance.

And she creates a happier life for herself, with balance and spending time and money on things that bring happiness into her life. I remember when we first adopted our dog Cheddar. He was a rambunctious 8 week old puppy, and he was crazy. He chewed up the legs of the dining room table. He needed constant walking to tire him out so he would let us rest and get some work done. I was tearing my hair out- how could we survive with this dog??

Kate called me and gave me some words of wisdom: “This part is hard, but it will end at some point. He will mature and stop chewing, barking, zooming. And you will wonder how you ever lived without him.” Dear Husband and I think often of her counsel when we are snuggling up with our sweet pup. She was right! She knew that sometimes you take the tough now, in order to get the great later. Balance.

I could go on, but I don’t want it all to go to her head! I’ve learned a ton of great things from my sister. And of course Kate isn’t perfect! But I know she would appreciate that old saw “praise publicly, criticize privately.” 🙂 I am very lucky to have her in my life; I can’t imagine it without her!